| 1 | CONDOM(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual CONDOM(1) |
| 2 | |
| 3 | |
| 4 | |
| 5 | NAME |
| 6 | condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child |
| 7 | processes |
| 8 | |
| 9 | SYNOPSIS |
| 10 | condom [options] [processid] |
| 11 | |
| 12 | DESCRIPTION |
| 13 | _condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted |
| 14 | Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system. Although the spread of |
| 15 | such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious |
| 16 | users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing |
| 17 | viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(1)). Any data passed |
| 18 | to _condom_ by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by |
| 19 | the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below). _condom_ is known to |
| 20 | defend against the following viruses and other malicious |
| 21 | afflictions... |
| 22 | |
| 23 | o AIDS |
| 24 | o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties) |
| 25 | o Syphilis |
| 26 | o Crabs |
| 27 | o Genital warts |
| 28 | o Gonorrhea |
| 29 | o Chlamydia |
| 30 | o Michelangelo |
| 31 | o Jerusalem |
| 32 | |
| 33 | When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1), |
| 34 | foam(1), and/or setiud(3), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a |
| 35 | child process. If invoked from within a synchronous process, _condom_ |
| 36 | has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes |
| 37 | from becoming parent processes (see the -s option below). When other |
| 38 | process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child |
| 39 | process from being forked becomes much greater. See pill(1), |
| 40 | sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more information. |
| 41 | If no options are given, the current user's login process (as |
| 42 | determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a |
| 43 | Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip. The optional |
| 44 | 'processid' argument is an integer specifying the process to protect. |
| 45 | NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk. _condom_ |
| 46 | will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy |
| 47 | disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below). |
| 48 | |
| 49 | OPTIONS |
| 50 | The following options may be given to _condom_... |
| 51 | |
| 52 | -b BRAND BRANDs are as follows... |
| 53 | |
| 54 | trojan (default) |
| 55 | ramses |
| 56 | sheik |
| 57 | goldcoin |
| 58 | fourex |
| 59 | |
| 60 | -m MATERIAL The valid MATERIALs are... |
| 61 | |
| 62 | latex (default) |
| 63 | saranwrap |
| 64 | membrane -- WARNING! The membrane option is _not_ |
| 65 | endorsed by the System Administrator General as an |
| 66 | effective barrier against certain viruses. It is |
| 67 | supported only for the sake of tradition. |
| 68 | |
| 69 | -f FLAVOR The following FLAVORs are currently supported... |
| 70 | |
| 71 | plain (default) |
| 72 | apple |
| 73 | banana |
| 74 | cherry |
| 75 | cinnamon |
| 76 | licorice |
| 77 | orange |
| 78 | peppermint |
| 79 | raspberry |
| 80 | spearmint |
| 81 | strawberry |
| 82 | |
| 83 | -r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip) |
| 84 | |
| 85 | -s STRENGTH STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying |
| 86 | the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to |
| 87 | _condom_ by the protected process. Using a larger |
| 88 | value of STRENGTH increases _condom_'s protective |
| 89 | abilities, but also reduces interprocess communication. |
| 90 | A smaller value of STRENGTH increases interprocess |
| 91 | communication, but also increases the likelihood of a |
| 92 | security breach. An extremely vigorous process or |
| 93 | one passing an enormous amount of data to _condom_ |
| 94 | will increase the chance of _condom_'s failure. The |
| 95 | default STRENGTH is 80%. |
| 96 | |
| 97 | -t TEXTURE Valid TEXTUREs are... |
| 98 | |
| 99 | rough (default) |
| 100 | ribbed |
| 101 | bumps |
| 102 | lubricated (provides smoother interaction between |
| 103 | processes) |
| 104 | |
| 105 | WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in |
| 106 | order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in |
| 107 | benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor! If execution |
| 108 | speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricated' option. |
| 109 | |
| 110 | DIAGNOSTICS |
| 111 | _condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes... |
| 112 | |
| 113 | -1 An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk. |
| 114 | |
| 115 | 0 _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to |
| 116 | the synchronous process). |
| 117 | |
| 118 | 1 _condom_ failed and data was allowed through. The |
| 119 | danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child |
| 120 | process is inversely proportional to the number of other |
| 121 | protections employed and is directly proportional to |
| 122 | the ages of the processes involved. |
| 123 | |
| 124 | BUGS |
| 125 | _condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process |
| 126 | from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although |
| 127 | the System Administrator General has deemed that _condom_ is the most |
| 128 | effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted |
| 129 | viruses). See celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program |
| 130 | for preventing these problems. |
| 131 | Remember... the use of sex(1) and other related routines |
| 132 | should only occur between mature, consenting processes. If you must |
| 133 | use sex(1), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your |
| 134 | synchronous process. If we are all responsible, we can stop the |
| 135 | spread of STVs. |
| 136 | |
| 137 | AUTHORS and HISTORY |
| 138 | The original version of _condom_ was released in Roman times |
| 139 | and was only marginally effective. With the advent of modern |
| 140 | technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more |
| 141 | effective. |
| 142 | The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at |
| 143 | the University of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last |
| 144 | updated on 10/7/92. |
| 145 | |
| 146 | SEE ALSO |
| 147 | celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and |
| 148 | setiud(3) |