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1 | CONDOM(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual CONDOM(1) |
2 | ||
3 | ||
4 | ||
5 | NAME | |
177c0ea7 | 6 | condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child |
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7 | processes |
8 | ||
9 | SYNOPSIS | |
10 | condom [options] [processid] | |
11 | ||
12 | DESCRIPTION | |
13 | _condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted | |
14 | Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system. Although the spread of | |
15 | such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious | |
16 | users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing | |
17 | viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(1)). Any data passed | |
18 | to _condom_ by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by | |
19 | the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below). _condom_ is known to | |
20 | defend against the following viruses and other malicious | |
21 | afflictions... | |
22 | ||
23 | o AIDS | |
24 | o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties) | |
25 | o Syphilis | |
26 | o Crabs | |
27 | o Genital warts | |
28 | o Gonorrhea | |
29 | o Chlamydia | |
30 | o Michelangelo | |
31 | o Jerusalem | |
32 | ||
33 | When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1), | |
34 | foam(1), and/or setiud(3), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a | |
35 | child process. If invoked from within a synchronous process, _condom_ | |
36 | has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes | |
37 | from becoming parent processes (see the -s option below). When other | |
38 | process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child | |
39 | process from being forked becomes much greater. See pill(1), | |
40 | sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more information. | |
41 | If no options are given, the current user's login process (as | |
42 | determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a | |
43 | Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip. The optional | |
44 | 'processid' argument is an integer specifying the process to protect. | |
45 | NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk. _condom_ | |
46 | will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy | |
47 | disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below). | |
48 | ||
49 | OPTIONS | |
50 | The following options may be given to _condom_... | |
51 | ||
52 | -b BRAND BRANDs are as follows... | |
53 | ||
54 | trojan (default) | |
55 | ramses | |
56 | sheik | |
57 | goldcoin | |
58 | fourex | |
59 | ||
60 | -m MATERIAL The valid MATERIALs are... | |
61 | ||
62 | latex (default) | |
63 | saranwrap | |
64 | membrane -- WARNING! The membrane option is _not_ | |
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65 | endorsed by the System Administrator General as an |
66 | effective barrier against certain viruses. It is | |
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67 | supported only for the sake of tradition. |
68 | ||
69 | -f FLAVOR The following FLAVORs are currently supported... | |
70 | ||
71 | plain (default) | |
72 | apple | |
73 | banana | |
74 | cherry | |
75 | cinnamon | |
76 | licorice | |
77 | orange | |
78 | peppermint | |
79 | raspberry | |
80 | spearmint | |
81 | strawberry | |
82 | ||
83 | -r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip) | |
84 | ||
85 | -s STRENGTH STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying | |
86 | the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to | |
87 | _condom_ by the protected process. Using a larger | |
88 | value of STRENGTH increases _condom_'s protective | |
89 | abilities, but also reduces interprocess communication. | |
90 | A smaller value of STRENGTH increases interprocess | |
91 | communication, but also increases the likelihood of a | |
92 | security breach. An extremely vigorous process or | |
177c0ea7 | 93 | one passing an enormous amount of data to _condom_ |
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94 | will increase the chance of _condom_'s failure. The |
95 | default STRENGTH is 80%. | |
96 | ||
97 | -t TEXTURE Valid TEXTUREs are... | |
98 | ||
99 | rough (default) | |
100 | ribbed | |
101 | bumps | |
177c0ea7 | 102 | lubricated (provides smoother interaction between |
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103 | processes) |
104 | ||
105 | WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in | |
106 | order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in | |
107 | benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor! If execution | |
108 | speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricated' option. | |
109 | ||
110 | DIAGNOSTICS | |
111 | _condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes... | |
112 | ||
113 | -1 An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk. | |
114 | ||
115 | 0 _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to | |
116 | the synchronous process). | |
117 | ||
118 | 1 _condom_ failed and data was allowed through. The | |
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119 | danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child |
120 | process is inversely proportional to the number of other | |
121 | protections employed and is directly proportional to | |
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122 | the ages of the processes involved. |
123 | ||
124 | BUGS | |
125 | _condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process | |
126 | from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although | |
127 | the System Administrator General has deemed that _condom_ is the most | |
128 | effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted | |
129 | viruses). See celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program | |
130 | for preventing these problems. | |
131 | Remember... the use of sex(1) and other related routines | |
132 | should only occur between mature, consenting processes. If you must | |
133 | use sex(1), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your | |
134 | synchronous process. If we are all responsible, we can stop the | |
135 | spread of STVs. | |
136 | ||
137 | AUTHORS and HISTORY | |
138 | The original version of _condom_ was released in Roman times | |
139 | and was only marginally effective. With the advent of modern | |
140 | technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more | |
141 | effective. | |
142 | The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at | |
143 | the University of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last | |
144 | updated on 10/7/92. | |
145 | ||
146 | SEE ALSO | |
147 | celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and | |
148 | setiud(3) |