scripts/stupid_stuff/stupid_stuff

   1 ;;; -*- guile-scheme -*-
   2 ;;; this shows off some interesting things...(based on boulet)
   3 ;;; This is unknown_lamer's bot DumbBot
   4
   5 ;;; To use this run:
   6 ;;; sh sayings.sh
   7 ;;; cat sayings | guile -s insert_saying.scm
   8 ;;; Then load this file.
   9 ;;; To add a new saying to the bot db just run insert_saying.scm
  10
  11 ;;; yes, this uses a sql db!
  12 (use-modules (database simplesql)
  13              (ice-9 debug))
  14 (load "../bobot-utils.scm")
  15
  16 ;;; Activate or desactivate the bot
  17 (define talk 1)
  18
  19 (define (shutup)
  20   (set! talk 0))
  21 (bot-addcommand "shutup" shutup #f 0 2)
  22
  23 (define (dotalk)
  24   (set! talk 1))
  25 (bot-addcommand "talk" dotalk #f 0 2)
  26
  27
  28 ;;; Miscellaneous list functions
  29 (define (removeChannel c l)
  30   (if (null? l)
  31       (list)
  32       (let ((deb (car l)))
  33         (if (string-ci=? c (car deb))
  34             (cdr l)
  35             (append (list deb) (removeChannel c (cdr l)))))))
  36
  37 (define (changeChannel c n l)
  38   (if (null? l)
  39       (list)
  40       (let ((deb (car l)))
  41         (if (string-ci=? c (car deb))
  42             (append (list (list c n)) (cdr l))
  43             (append (list deb) (changeChannel c n (cdr l)))))))
  44
  45 (define (addChannel c n l)
  46   (append l (list (list c n))))
  47
  48 ;;; When someone joins a channel
  49 (define dumbTimer (list))
  50 (define (joinLourd n c)
  51   (if (string-ci=? n (bot-getnickname))
  52     (begin
  53       (if (= 1 talk) (bot-say c "I like limos"))
  54       (set! dumbTimer
  55             (addChannel c (bot-addtimer (+ 600 (bot-random 300))
  56                                         (dumbLourd c)) dumbTimer)))
  57     (if (= 1 talk) (bot-say c (string-append "Arf Moo Arf! " n
  58                                              " I like pizza...")))))
  59 (bot-addhook hooks/join ".*" joinLourd)
  60
  61 ;;; When someone leaves the channel
  62 (define (partLourd n c)
  63   (bot-flushport)
  64   (if (not (string-ci=? n (bot-getnickname)))
  65       (if (= 1 talk) (bot-msg n "I HATED YOU ANYWAY"))
  66       (let* ((timer (assoc c dumbTimer)))
  67         (bot-deltimer (cadr timer))
  68         (set! dumbTimer (removeChannel c dumbTimer)))))
  69 (bot-addhook hooks/part ".*" partLourd)
  70
  71 ;;; Random action to say something dumb
  72  (define (dumbLourd c)
  73    (lambda ()
  74    (if (= 1 talk)
  75      (bot-say
  76       c
  77       (vector-ref (list-ref dumbList (bot-random (length dumbList))) 0)))
  78    (set! dumbTimer
  79         (changeChannel
  80          c
  81          (bot-addtimer (+ 600 (bot-random 300)) (dumbLourd c)) dumbTimer))))
  82
  83
  84 (define dumbDB (simplesql-open 'postgresql "bot_sayings"))
  85 ;(define dumbList #f)
  86 ; (define (reload-sayings)
  87 ;   (set! dumbList (cdr (simplesql-query dumbDB "SELECT saying FROM sayings")))
  88 ;   (display "Reloaded sayings from db\n" (bot-logport))
  89 ;   (bot-flushport))
  90 ; (bot-addcommand "reloadsayings" reload-sayings #f 0 4)
  91 ; (reload-sayings)
  92
  93 (define (_length db)
  94   (let ((length (+ 1
  95                    (vector-ref
  96                     (list-ref (cdr
  97                                (simplesql-query
  98                                 db
  99                                 "SELECT count(saying) FROM sayings")) 0) 0))))
 100     length ))
 101
 102 (define (_select db entry)
 103   (list-ref
 104    (cdr
 105     (simplesql-query db
 106                      (str-app "SELECT saying FROM sayings "
 107                               "WHERE id = "
 108                               (number->string entry)))) 0))
 109
 110
 111
 112
 113 (define (random-saying)
 114   (vector-ref (_select dumbDB (bot-random (_length dumbDB))) 0))
 115
 116 ;;; Misc
 117 ;;; note that public hooks match the channel name too!
 118 ;;; match-not-channel prevents this
 119
 120 ;;; this should be the first so it doesn't clobber the other hooks
 121 (bot-addhook
 122  hooks/public (match-to-me "")
 123  (lambda (f t p)
 124    (if (= 1 talk)
 125      (bot-say t
 126               (string-append f ": " (random-saying))))) -50 #f)
 127
 128
 129 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel "oracle")
 130              (lambda (f t p)
 131                (if (= 1 talk)
 132                  (bot-say t "Oracle is evil! Use Postgres instead!"))))
 133
 134 (define (add-gnu word)
 135   (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel word)
 136              (lambda (f t p)
 137                (if (= 1 talk)
 138                  (bot-say t
 139                           (string-append f ": I hope you meant GNU!"))))))
 140 (map add-gnu '("[^/g]linux" "microsoft" "bsd"))
 141
 142 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel "boulet")
 143              (lambda (f t p)
 144                (if (= 1 talk) (bot-say t "on parle de moi ?"))))
 145
 146 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel "arf")
 147              (lambda (f t p)
 148                (if (= 1 talk)
 149                  (bot-say t (random-saying)))))
 150
 151 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel "csn")
 152              (lambda (f t p)
 153                (if (= 1 talk) (bot-say t "???"))))
 154
 155 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel "pizza|pasta|soda")
 156              (lambda (f t p)
 157                (if (= 1 talk)
 158                  (bot-say t (string-append f ": give me one too!")))))
 159
 160 (define (add-foul word)
 161   (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel word)
 162              (lambda (f t p)
 163                (if (= 1 talk)
 164                  (bot-action
 165                   t (string-append "hits " f
 166                                    " for having a potty mouth"))))))
 167 (map add-foul '("bitch" "fuck" "whore" "cunt" "tit" "shit" "dick" "cock"))
 168
 169 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-not-channel "anal sex")
 170              (lambda (f t p)
 171                (if (= 1 talk)
 172                  (if (not (string-match "unknown_lamer" f))
 173                    (bot-action
 174                     t (string-append "grabs " f
 175                                      " and buggers " f " up the ass"))))))
 176
 177 (bot-addhook
 178  hooks/public (match-not-channel "[[:space:]]*lame[[:space:]]+")
 179  (lambda (f t p)
 180    (if (= 1 talk)
 181      (bot-say t
 182               (string-append f ": NO NO YOU ARE THE LAMER")))))
 183
 184 (bot-addhook hooks/public (match-to-me "burn")
 185              (lambda (f t p)
 186                (if (= 1 talk)
 187                  (bot-say
 188                   t
 189                   (string-append "How about you burn " f "?")))))
 190
 191
 192 ;;; 9h00, on arrive au boulot
 193 ;(define (newDay l)
 194 ;  (if (not (null? l))
 195 ;      (begin
 196 ;        (bot-say (caar l) "What is up my homey g-d0g?")
 197 ;        (newDay (cdr l))
 198 ;        )
 199 ;      )
 200 ;)
 201
 202 ;(bot-addhook hooks/timer "09:00" (lambda (h) (newDay dumbTimer) (talk)))
 203
 204 ;;; 18h00, il est temps de rentrer
 205 ;(define (timeToGo l)
 206 ;  (if (not (null? l))
 207 ;      (begin
 208 ;        (bot-say (caar l) "Give me food")
 209 ;        (bot-action (caar l) "I'm bored")
 210 ;        (timeToGo (cdr l))
 211 ;        )
 212 ;      )
 213 ;)
 214 ;(bot-addhook hooks/timer "18:00" (lambda (h) (timeToGo dumbTimer) (shutup)))