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a933dad1 DL |
1 | From: Don Chiasson <G.CHIASSON@DREA-XX.ARPA> |
2 | Subject: Some gnu jokes | |
3 | To: jokes@DREA-XX.ARPA, gergely@DREA-XX.ARPA, broome@DREA-XX.ARPA | |
4 | cc: G.CHIASSON@DREA-XX.ARPA | |
5 | Message-ID: <12329394624.13.G.CHIASSON@DREA-XX.ARPA> | |
6 | ||
7 | Richard M. Stallman (RMS, widely known for creating EMACS) is writing | |
8 | a UNIX clone called GNU (which means Gnu's Not Unix--a recursive acronym). | |
9 | This seems to open the way to a whole gnu class of jokes. For example: | |
10 | ||
11 | Q: What do you call a person who hacks while wearing no clothes? | |
12 | A: A gnudist. | |
13 | ||
14 | Q: What do you call an eligible young hacker? | |
15 | A: Gnubile. | |
16 | ||
17 | Q: What is a hacker's favorite candy? | |
18 | A: Gnugat. (Though it contains little gnutrition.) | |
19 | ||
20 | Q: What do you call a computer filled with air? | |
21 | A: Gnumatic. | |
22 | ||
23 | Q: What do you call a novice hacker who keeps pestering you | |
24 | with foolish questions? | |
25 | A: A gnuisance. | |
26 | ||
27 | Q: What do you call a subtle, clever hack in the favorite language? | |
28 | A: A gnuanCe. | |
29 | ||
30 | Q: What do you use a supercomputer for? | |
31 | A: Gnumerical analysis. | |
32 | ||
33 | Q: What do you call a hacker who collects coins? | |
34 | A: A gnumismatist. | |
35 | ||
36 | Well, there are more, just too gnumerous to tell all at once. I think | |
37 | I'd better go before someone starts firing gnuclear weapons at me. | |
38 | Don | |
39 | ||
40 | From: patl@athena.mit.edu (Patrick J. LoPresti) | |
41 | Message-ID: <1991Jul11.031731.9260@athena.mit.edu> | |
42 | Sender: news@athena.mit.edu (News system) | |
43 | Subject: The True Path (long) | |
44 | Date: 11 Jul 91 03:17:31 GMT | |
45 | Path: ai-lab!mintaka!olivea!samsung!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!think.com!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!bloom-picayune.mit.edu!athena.mit.edu!patl | |
46 | Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs,alt.slack | |
47 | Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology | |
48 | Lines: 95 | |
49 | Xref: ai-lab alt.religion.emacs:244 alt.slack:1935 | |
50 | ||
51 | When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi | |
52 | *and* Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages like, | |
53 | 'C-h for help' and '"foo" File is read only'. So I use the editor | |
54 | that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time. | |
55 | ||
56 | Ed, man! !man ed | |
57 | ||
58 | ED(1) UNIX Programmer's Manual ED(1) | |
59 | ||
60 | NAME | |
61 | ed - text editor | |
62 | ||
63 | SYNOPSIS | |
64 | ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ] | |
65 | DESCRIPTION | |
66 | Ed is the standard text editor. | |
67 | --- | |
68 | ||
69 | Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first | |
70 | alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed | |
71 | because it's ED! | |
72 | ||
73 | "Ed is the standard text editor." | |
74 | ||
75 | And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look: | |
76 | ||
77 | -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed | |
78 | -rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi | |
79 | -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs | |
80 | ||
81 | Of course, on the system *I* administrate, vi is symlinked to ed. | |
82 | Emacs has been replaced by a shell script which 1) Generates a syslog | |
83 | message at level LOG_EMERG; 2) reduces the user's disk quota by 100K; | |
84 | and 3) RUNS ED!!!!!! | |
85 | ||
86 | "Ed is the standard text editor." | |
87 | ||
88 | Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed: | |
89 | ||
90 | golem> ed | |
91 | ||
92 | ? | |
93 | help | |
94 | ? | |
95 | ? | |
96 | ? | |
97 | quit | |
98 | ? | |
99 | exit | |
100 | ? | |
101 | bye | |
102 | ? | |
103 | hello? | |
104 | ? | |
105 | eat flaming death | |
106 | ? | |
107 | ^C | |
108 | ? | |
109 | ^C | |
110 | ? | |
111 | ^D | |
112 | ? | |
113 | ||
114 | --- | |
115 | Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is | |
116 | generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm | |
117 | the novice with verbosity. | |
118 | ||
119 | "Ed is the standard text editor." | |
120 | ||
121 | Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all. | |
122 | ||
123 | ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA! ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED | |
124 | AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR CENTURIES! ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS | |
125 | BODILY FLUIDS!! ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR! ED MAKES THE SUN | |
126 | SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!! | |
127 | ||
128 | When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless | |
129 | help screens and cursor positioning code! I just want an EDitor!! | |
130 | Not a "viitor". Not a "emacsitor". Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED! | |
131 | ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!! | |
132 | ||
133 | TEXT EDITOR. | |
134 | ||
135 | When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their | |
136 | "edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi? No. Emacs? Surely | |
137 | you jest. They chose the most karmic editor of all. The standard. | |
138 | ||
139 | Ed is for those who can *remember* what they are working on. If you | |
140 | are an idiot, you should use Emacs. If you are an Emacs, you should | |
141 | not be vi. If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION. THE | |
142 | SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE | |
143 | FAITHLESS. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!! | |
144 | ||
145 | ? | |
146 | ||
147 | From: The Unknown User <anonymous@nowhere.uucp> | |
148 | Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean? | |
149 | To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU | |
150 | ||
151 | EMACS belongs in <sys/errno.h>: Editor too big! | |
152 | ||
153 | ||
154 | Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift | |
155 | ||
156 | ||
157 | From: harvard!topaz!BLUE!BRAIL@mit-eddie | |
158 | Date: 9 Sep 85 17:25:27 EDT | |
159 | Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean? | |
160 | To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU | |
161 | ||
162 | EMACS may stand for "Editing MACroS," but some friends of mine | |
163 | suggested some more creative definitions. Here they are. Anyone have | |
164 | any additions? | |
165 | ||
166 | -------- | |
167 | Eight | |
168 | Megabytes | |
169 | And | |
170 | Constantly | |
171 | Swapping | |
172 | ||
173 | Even a | |
174 | Master of | |
175 | Arts | |
176 | Comes | |
177 | Simpler | |
178 | ||
179 | Emacs | |
180 | Manuals | |
181 | Are | |
182 | Cryptic and | |
183 | Surreal | |
184 | ||
185 | Energetic | |
186 | Merchants | |
187 | Always | |
188 | Cultivate | |
189 | Sales | |
190 | ||
191 | Each | |
192 | Manual's | |
193 | Audience is | |
194 | Completely | |
195 | Stupified | |
196 | ||
197 | Emacs | |
198 | Means | |
199 | A | |
200 | Crappy | |
201 | Screen | |
202 | ||
203 | Eventually | |
204 | Munches | |
205 | All | |
206 | Computer | |
207 | Storage | |
208 | ||
209 | Even | |
210 | My | |
211 | Aunt | |
212 | Crashes the | |
213 | System | |
214 | ||
215 | Eradication of | |
216 | Memory | |
217 | Accomplished with | |
218 | Complete | |
219 | Simplicity | |
220 | ||
221 | Elsewhere | |
222 | Maybe | |
223 | Alternative | |
224 | Civilizations | |
225 | Survive | |
226 | ||
227 | Egregious | |
228 | Managers | |
229 | Actively | |
230 | Court | |
231 | Stallman | |
232 | ||
233 | Esoteric | |
234 | Malleability | |
235 | Always | |
236 | Considered | |
237 | Silly | |
238 | ||
239 | Emacs | |
240 | Manuals | |
241 | Always | |
242 | Cause | |
243 | Senility | |
244 | ||
245 | Easily | |
246 | Maintained with the | |
247 | Assistance of | |
248 | Chemical | |
249 | Solutions | |
250 | ||
251 | EMACS | |
252 | MACRO | |
253 | ACTED | |
254 | CREDO | |
255 | SODOM | |
256 | ||
257 | Edwardian | |
258 | Manifestation of | |
259 | All | |
260 | Colonial | |
261 | Sins | |
262 | ||
263 | Generally | |
264 | Not | |
265 | Used | |
266 | ||
267 | Except by | |
268 | Middle | |
269 | Aged | |
270 | Computer | |
271 | Scientists | |
272 | ||
273 | Extended | |
274 | Macros | |
275 | Are | |
276 | Considered | |
277 | Superfluous | |
278 | ||
279 | Every | |
280 | Mode | |
281 | Accelerates | |
282 | Creation of | |
283 | Software | |
284 | ||
285 | Elsewhere | |
286 | Maybe | |
287 | All | |
288 | Commands are | |
289 | Simple | |
290 | ||
291 | Emacs | |
292 | May | |
293 | Allow | |
f13e7f66 | 294 | Customized |
a933dad1 DL |
295 | Screwups |
296 | ||
297 | Excellent | |
298 | Manuals | |
299 | Are | |
300 | Clearly | |
301 | Suppressed | |
302 | ||
303 | Emetic | |
304 | Macros | |
305 | Assault | |
306 | Core and | |
307 | Segmentation | |
308 | ||
309 | Embarrassed | |
310 | Manual-Writer | |
311 | Accused of | |
312 | Communist | |
313 | Subversion | |
314 | ||
315 | Extensibility and | |
316 | Modifiability | |
317 | Aggravate | |
318 | Confirmed | |
319 | Simpletons | |
320 | ||
321 | Emacs | |
322 | May | |
323 | Annihilate | |
324 | Command | |
325 | Structures | |
326 | ||
327 | Easily | |
328 | Mangles, | |
329 | Aborts, | |
330 | Crashes and | |
331 | Stupifies | |
332 | ||
333 | Extraneous | |
334 | Macros | |
335 | And | |
336 | Commands | |
337 | Stink | |
338 | ||
339 | Exceptionally | |
340 | Mediocre | |
341 | Algorithm for | |
342 | Computer | |
343 | Scientists | |
344 | ||
345 | EMACS | |
346 | Makes no | |
347 | Allowances | |
348 | Considering its | |
349 | Stiff price | |
350 | ||
351 | Equine | |
352 | Mammals | |
353 | Are | |
354 | Considerably | |
355 | Smaller | |
356 | ||
357 | Embarrassingly | |
358 | Mundane | |
359 | Advertising | |
360 | Cuts | |
361 | Sales | |
362 | ||
363 | Every | |
364 | Moron | |
365 | Assumes | |
366 | CCA is | |
367 | Superior | |
368 | ||
369 | Exceptionally | |
370 | Mediocre | |
371 | Autocratic | |
372 | Control | |
373 | System | |
374 | ||
375 | EMACS | |
376 | May | |
377 | Alienate | |
378 | Clients and | |
379 | Supporters | |
380 | ||
381 | Excavating | |
382 | Mayan | |
383 | Architecture | |
384 | Comes | |
385 | Simpler | |
386 | ||
387 | Erasing | |
388 | Minds | |
389 | Allows | |
390 | Complete | |
391 | Submission | |
392 | ||
393 | Every | |
394 | Male | |
395 | Adolescent | |
396 | Craves | |
397 | Sex | |
398 | ||
399 | Elephantine | |
400 | Memory | |
401 | Absolutely | |
402 | Considered | |
403 | Sine que non | |
404 | ||
405 | Emacs | |
406 | Makers | |
407 | Are | |
408 | Crazy | |
409 | Sickos | |
410 | ||
411 | Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo- | |
412 | Macros | |
413 | Are | |
414 | Completely | |
415 | Slow | |
416 | ||
417 | Experience the | |
418 | Mildest | |
419 | Ad | |
420 | Campaign ever | |
421 | Seen | |
422 | ||
423 | Emacs | |
424 | Makefiles | |
425 | Annihilate | |
426 | C- | |
427 | Shells | |
428 | ||
429 | Eradication of | |
430 | Memory | |
431 | Accomplished with | |
432 | Complete | |
433 | Simplicity | |
434 | ||
435 | Emetic | |
436 | Macros | |
437 | Assault | |
438 | Core and | |
439 | Segmentation | |
440 | ||
441 | Epileptic | |
442 | MLisp | |
443 | Aggravates | |
444 | Compiler | |
445 | Seizures | |
446 | ||
447 | Eleven thousand | |
448 | Monkeys | |
449 | Asynchronously | |
450 | Crank out these | |
451 | Slogans | |
452 | ------- | |
453 | ||
454 | ||
455 | From: ihnss!warren@mit-eddie (Warren Montgomery) | |
456 | Newsgroups: net.emacs | |
457 | Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean? | |
458 | Date: Tue, 10-Sep-85 09:14:24 EDT | |
459 | Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL | |
460 | Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep | |
461 | ||
462 | Someone at a luncheon suggested it meant: | |
463 | ||
464 | Evenings, | |
465 | Mornings, | |
466 | And a | |
467 | Couple of | |
468 | Saturdays | |
469 | ||
470 | (In reference to the odd hours that went into the creation of my | |
471 | implementation). | |
472 | ||
473 | -- | |
474 | ||
475 | Warren Montgomery | |
476 | ihnss!warren | |
477 | IH ((312)-979) x2494 | |
478 | ||
479 | Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 10:11:04 edt | |
480 | From: inmet!tower@inmet.inmet (Leonard H. Tower Jr.) <inmet!tower@cca-unix> | |
481 | Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean? | |
482 | To: tower@MIT-PREP.ARPA | |
483 | ||
484 | Received: by inmet.uucp (4.12/inmet) id AA02199; Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt | |
485 | Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt | |
486 | Message-Id: <8509181310.AA02199@inmet.uucp> | |
487 | Uucp-Paths: {bellcore,ima,ihnp4}!inmet!tower | |
488 | Arpa-Path: ima!inmet!tower@CCA-UNIX.ARPA | |
489 | Organization: Intermetrics, Inc., Cambridge, MA, USA | |
490 | Home: 36 Porter Street, Somerville, MA 02143, USA +1 (617) 623-7739 | |
491 | /* Written 6:48 pm Sep 14, 1985 by gml@ssc-vax in inmet:net.emacs */ | |
492 | /* ---------- "Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?" ---------- */ | |
493 | Pleeeeeeeze!!! Nice try on the meaning of EMACS. I believe the | |
494 | correct acronym is: | |
495 | ||
496 | Emacs | |
497 | Makes | |
498 | All | |
499 | Computing | |
500 | Simple | |
501 | ||
502 | Thank you, and Good Night | |
503 | /* End of text from inmet:net.emacs */ | |
504 | ||
505 | From: ho95e!wcs@mit-eddie (Bill.Stewart.4K435.x0705) | |
506 | Newsgroups: net.emacs | |
507 | Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean? | |
508 | Date: Thu, 26-Sep-85 21:43:54 EDT | |
509 | Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ | |
510 | Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep | |
511 | ||
512 | > > very interesting, but what does GNU stand for ? | |
513 | > GNU = Gnu's Not UNIX. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete Emacs. | |
514 | > More recursive acronyms, anyone? | |
515 | Many people have also seen FINE Is Not Emacs, but the one that has | |
516 | character is THief Isn't Even Fine. | |
517 | -- | |
518 | ## Bill Stewart, AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ 1-201-949-0705 ihnp4!ho95c!wcs | |
519 | ||
520 | Path: mit-eddie!think!harvard!bbnccv!bbncca!linus!decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2 | |
521 | From: edison!ta2@mit-eddie (tom allebrandi) | |
522 | Newsgroups: net.emacs | |
523 | Subject: Re: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean? | |
524 | Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 18:11:55 EDT | |
525 | Organization: General Electric's Mountain Resort | |
526 | Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep | |
527 | ||
528 | > GNU = Gnu's Not UNIX. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete Emacs. | |
529 | > | |
530 | > More recursive acronyms, anyone? | |
531 | > | |
532 | ||
533 | For the DEC-system-10/20: FINE - Fine Is Not Emacs..... | |
534 | ||
535 | -- | |
536 | ............... | |
537 | tom allebrandi 2, general electric aco, charlottesville, va | |
538 | {decvax,duke}!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2 | |
539 | box 8106, charlottesville, va, 22906 | |
540 | (804) 978-5566 | |
541 | ............... | |
542 | ||
543 | Date: Wed, 16 Oct 85 01:38:12 edt | |
544 | From: inmet!tower (Leonard H. Tower Jr.) <inmet!tower@cca-unix> | |
545 | Subject: more names | |
546 | To: tower@MIT-PREP.ARPA | |
547 | ||
548 | Received: by inmet.uucp (4.12/inmet) id AA12997; Tue, 15 Oct 85 22:31:39 edt | |
549 | Date: Tue, 15 Oct 85 22:31:39 edt | |
550 | Message-Id: <8510160231.AA12997@inmet.uucp> | |
551 | Uucp-Paths: {bellcore,ima,ihnp4}!inmet!tower | |
552 | Arpa-Path: ima!inmet!tower@CCA-UNIX.ARPA | |
553 | Organization: Intermetrics, Inc., Cambridge, MA, USA | |
554 | Home: 36 Porter Street, Somerville, MA 02143, USA +1 (617) 623-7739 | |
555 | /* Written 12:20 pm Oct 14, 1985 by rs@mirror.UUCP in inmet:net.emacs */ | |
556 | ||
557 | ||
558 | SINE: Sine Is Not Emacs | |
559 | (MIT Architecture Machine Group) | |
560 | ||
561 | EINE: Eine is Not Emacs | |
562 | (MIT Lisp Machine) | |
563 | ||
564 | ZWEI: Zwei Was Eine Initially | |
565 | ("rev2" of EINE) | |
566 | ||
567 | -- | |
568 | Rich $alz {mit-eddie, ihnp4!inmet, wjh12, cca, datacube} !mirror!rs | |
569 | Mirror Systems 2067 Massachusetts Ave. | |
570 | 617-661-0777 Cambridge, MA, 02140 | |
571 | /* End of text from inmet:net.emacs */ | |
572 | ||
573 | Path: mit-eddie!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!gatech!ulysses!pajb | |
574 | From: ulysses!pajb@mit-eddie (Paul Bennett) | |
575 | Newsgroups: net.emacs | |
576 | Subject: Here we go again ... | |
577 | Date: Sat, 19-Oct-85 17:26:49 EDT | |
578 | Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill | |
579 | Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep | |
580 | ||
581 | ||
582 | > EINE: Eine is Not Emacs | |
583 | > (MIT Lisp Machine) | |
584 | > | |
585 | > ZWEI: Zwei Was Eine Initially | |
586 | > ("rev2" of EINE) | |
587 | ||
588 | DREI: DREI - Really Emacs Inside | |
589 | (Exists only in my head) | |
590 | ||
591 | From: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Noah Friedman) | |
592 | Sender: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu | |
593 | To: jimb@gnu.ai.mit.edu, rms@gnu.ai.mit.edu | |
594 | Subject: etc/emacs.names | |
595 | Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 00:54:57 edt | |
596 | ||
597 | The following should be added: | |
598 | ||
599 | ||
600 | Emacs | |
601 | Makes | |
602 | A | |
603 | Computer | |
604 | Slow | |
605 | ||
606 | From: S_TITZ@iravcl.ira.uka.de (Olaf Titz) | |
607 | Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs | |
608 | Subject: Re: what emacs stands for | |
609 | Date: 12 Oct 92 19:29:32 GMT | |
610 | ||
611 | Emacs Masquerades As Comfortable Shell | |
612 | Ever Made A Control-key Setup? | |
613 | Emacs: My Alternative Computer Story | |
614 | Emacs Made Almost Completely Screwed | |
615 | (by extensive use of M-x global-unset-key) | |
616 | Emacs Macht Alle Computer Schoen | |
617 | (deutsch) (=Emacs makes all computers beautiful) | |
618 | Each Mail A Continued Surprise | |
619 | Every Mode Acknowledges Customized Strokes | |
620 | (keystrokes, of course :-) | |
621 | Eating Memory And Cycle-Sucking | |
622 | Everyday Material Almost Compiled Successfully | |
623 | ||
624 | now enough bashing for today :-) | |
625 | ||
626 | ||
627 | From: elvis@gnu.ai.mit.edu | |
628 | To: emacs-19-bugs@gnu.ai.mit.edu | |
629 | Subject: missing from etc/emacs.names | |
630 | Date: Thu, 20 May 93 02:21:27 edt | |
631 | ||
632 | ||
633 | Elvis | |
634 | Masterminds | |
635 | All | |
636 | Computer | |
637 | Software | |
638 | ||
639 | Just so you boys know the score. | |
640 | ||
641 | Thank you very Much, | |
642 | The King |