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a0cf9a65 NF |
1 | Zippy the pinhead data base. The official copy of this is in the file |
2 | "MLY;YOW >" on AI.AI.MIT.EDU | |
3 | Everything up to the first ascii \000 (`null') character is a comment. | |
4 | The file consits of zippy quotations (from various comic books and | |
5 | strips by Bill Griffith) followed by a null character. | |
6 | Newline chracters following a quotation are ignored and are present | |
7 | only for readability. | |
8 | Have FUN! | |
9 | This file is currently used by: | |
10 | * the FORTUNE program on OZ.AI.MIT.EDU | |
11 | * the m-x yow command in GNU Emacs. | |
12 | * NIL (MIT Common Lisp)'s debugger | |
13 | * something bandy wrote at LLL-CRG.ARPA (fucking death labs). | |
14 | \0 | |
15 | - if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!\0 | |
16 | -- In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with a | |
17 | ``Continental Belt,'' for $10.99!!\0 | |
18 | --``I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC. We're going away now. | |
19 | I fed the cat. - Zippy''\0 | |
20 | --- I have seen the FUN ---\0 | |
21 | .. Do you like ``TENDER VITTLES?''?\0 | |
22 | .. I don't know why but, suddenly, I want to discuss declining I.Q. | |
23 | LEVELS with a blue ribbon SENATE SUB-COMMITTEE!\0 | |
24 | .. I don't understand the HUMOUR of the THREE STOOGES!!\0 | |
25 | .. I feel.. JUGULAR..\0 | |
26 | .. I have a VISION! It's a RANCID double-FISHWICH on an ENRICHED BUN!!\0 | |
27 | .. I see TOILET SEATS...\0 | |
28 | .. I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with | |
29 | a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...\0 | |
30 | .. I think I'll KILL myself by leaping out of this | |
31 | 14th STOREY WINDOW while reading ERICA JONG'S poetry!!\0 | |
32 | .. I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within | |
33 | SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!\0 | |
34 | .. I want a COLOR T.V. and a VIBRATING BED!!!\0 | |
35 | .. I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!\0 | |
36 | .. I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE | |
37 | as a COMPLETE STRANGER?\0 | |
38 | .. I'm IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM | |
39 | of a KOSHER DELI --\0 | |
40 | .. If I had heart failure right now, I couldn't be a more fortunate man!!\0 | |
41 | .. Like I always say -- nothing can beat the BRATWURST | |
42 | here in DUSSELDORF!!\0 | |
43 | .. My pants just went on a wild rampage through | |
44 | a Long Island Bowling Alley!!\0 | |
45 | .. My vaseline is RUNNING...\0 | |
46 | .. Now I think I just reached the state of HYPERTENSION that comes | |
47 | JUST BEFORE you see the TOTAL at the SAFEWAY CHECKOUT COUNTER!\0 | |
48 | .. Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..\0 | |
49 | .. Once upon a time, four AMPHIBIOUS HOG CALLERS attacked a family | |
50 | of DEFENSELESS, SENSITIVE COIN COLLECTORS and brought DOWN their | |
51 | PROPERTY VALUES!!\0 | |
52 | .. One FISHWICH coming up!!\0 | |
53 | .. Should I get locked in the PRINCICAL'S OFFICE today -- | |
54 | or have a VASECTOMY??\0 | |
55 | .. So, if we convert SUPPLY-SIDE SOYABEAN FUTURES into | |
56 | HIGH-YIELD T-BILL INDICATORS, the PRE-INFLATIONARY risks | |
57 | will DWINDLE to a rate of 2 SHOPPING SPREES per EGGPLANT!!\0 | |
58 | .. are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?\0 | |
59 | .. bleakness.... desolation.... plastic forks...\0 | |
60 | .. does your DRESSING ROOM have enough ASPARAGUS?\0 | |
61 | .. he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.\0 | |
62 | .. here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!\0 | |
63 | .. hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.\0 | |
64 | .. ich bin in einem dusenjet ins jahr 53 vor chr... | |
65 | ich lande im antiken Rom... einige gladiatoren spielen scrabble... | |
66 | ich rieche PIZZA...\0 | |
67 | .. my NOSE is NUMB!\0 | |
68 | .. or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me | |
69 | in MIAMI last Tuesday?\0 | |
70 | .. over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..\0 | |
71 | .. someone in DAYTON, Ohio is selling USED CARPETS to a SERBO-CROATIAN\0 | |
72 | .. the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA | |
73 | is a barbequeued OYSTER! Yum!\0 | |
74 | .. the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!\0 | |
75 | .. this must be what it's like to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!!\0 | |
76 | A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!\0 | |
77 | A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!\0 | |
78 | A shapely CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL is FIDGETING inside my costume..\0 | |
79 | A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled with | |
80 | LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight??\0 | |
81 | ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like | |
82 | RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!\0 | |
83 | Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!\0 | |
84 | All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled | |
85 | by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS...\0 | |
86 | All of a sudden, I want to THROW OVER my promising ACTING CAREER, | |
87 | grow a LONG BLACK BEARD and wear a BASEBALL HAT!! | |
88 | ... Although I don't know WHY!!\0 | |
89 | All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!\0 | |
90 | All right, you degenerates! I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!\0 | |
91 | All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!\0 | |
92 | Alright, you!! Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!\0 | |
93 | Am I SHOPLIFTING?\0 | |
94 | Am I accompanied by a PARENT or GUARDIAN?\0 | |
95 | Am I elected yet?\0 | |
96 | Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?\0 | |
97 | America!! I saw it all!! Vomiting! Waving! JERRY FALWELLING into | |
98 | your void tube of UHF oblivion!! SAFEWAY of the mind --\0 | |
99 | An INK-LING? Sure -- TAKE one!! Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??\0 | |
100 | An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!\0 | |
101 | An air of FRENCH FRIES permeates my nostrils!!\0 | |
102 | And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!\0 | |
103 | Are we THERE yet?\0 | |
104 | Are we THERE yet? My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!\0 | |
105 | Are we live or on tape?\0 | |
106 | Are we on STRIKE yet?\0 | |
107 | Are you mentally here at Pizza Hut??\0 | |
108 | Are you selling NYLON OIL WELLS?? If so, we can use TWO DOZEN!!\0 | |
109 | Are you still an ALCOHOLIC?\0 | |
110 | As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!\0 | |
111 | Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?\0 | |
112 | BARBARA STANWYCK makes me nervous!!\0 | |
113 | BARRY.. That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of | |
114 | ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!\0 | |
115 | BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot..\0 | |
116 | BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-\0 | |
117 | Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away! | |
118 | But Ken says, WOO-WOO!! No credit at ``Mr. Liquor''!!\0 | |
119 | Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.\0 | |
120 | Bo Derek ruined my life!\0 | |
121 | Boy, am I glad it's only 1971...\0 | |
122 | Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th' PLANET in 15 minutes!!\0 | |
123 | But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?\0 | |
124 | CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!\0 | |
125 | CONGRATULATIONS! Now should I make thinly veiled comments about | |
126 | DIGNITY, self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE??\0 | |
127 | Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?\0 | |
128 | Can you MAIL a BEAN CAKE?\0 | |
129 | Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger!\0 | |
130 | Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!!\0 | |
131 | Clear the laundromat!! This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!!\0 | |
132 | Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS! | |
133 | Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!! Follow the WHIPPLE AVE EXIT!! | |
134 | Have a FREE PEPSI!! Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!! | |
135 | JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!! MAKE me an OFFER!!!\0 | |
136 | Content: 80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON.. The waitress's | |
137 | UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8'' by 10'' GLOSSY..\0 | |
138 | Could I have a drug overdose?\0 | |
139 | DIDI... is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?\0 | |
140 | DON'T go!! I'm not HOWARD COSELL!! I know POLISH JOKES... WAIT!! | |
141 | Don't go!! I AM Howard Cosell!... And I DON'T know Polish jokes!!\0 | |
142 | Did I SELL OUT yet??\0 | |
143 | Did I do an INCORRECT THING??\0 | |
144 | Did I say I was a sardine? Or a bus???\0 | |
145 | Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?\0 | |
146 | Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations | |
147 | in a MALIBU HOT TUB?\0 | |
148 | Did you move a lot of KOREAN STEAK KNIVES this trip, Dingy?\0 | |
149 | Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?\0 | |
150 | Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahide pipeline running | |
151 | straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions | |
152 | and devalue the dollar!\0 | |
153 | Do I have a lifestyle yet?\0 | |
154 | Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?\0 | |
155 | Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??\0 | |
156 | Do you think the ``Monkees'' should get gas on odd or even days?\0 | |
157 | Does someone from PEORIA have a SHORTER ATTENTION span than me?\0 | |
158 | Don't SANFORIZE me!!\0 | |
159 | Don't hit me!! I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!\0 | |
160 | Don't worry, nobody really LISTENS to lectures in MOSCOW, either! | |
161 | .. FRENCH, HISTORY, ADVANCED CALCULUS, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, | |
162 | BLACK STUDIES, SOCIOBIOLOGY!.. Are there any QUESTIONS??\0 | |
163 | Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!!\0 | |
164 | Eisenhower!! Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!\0 | |
165 | Either CONFESS now or we go to ``PEOPLE'S COURT''!!\0 | |
166 | Everybody gets free BORSCHT!\0 | |
167 | Everybody is going somewhere!! It's probably a garage sale | |
168 | or a disaster Movie!!\0 | |
169 | Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...\0 | |
170 | Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the | |
171 | survival of OFFSET PRINTING?\0 | |
172 | FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!\0 | |
173 | FOOLED you! Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!!\0 | |
174 | FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..\0 | |
175 | FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!\0 | |
176 | Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the | |
177 | faculty dining room.\0 | |
178 | First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test.. | |
179 | So just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!!\0 | |
180 | Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my | |
181 | gothic solarium!!\0 | |
182 | GOOD-NIGHT, everybody.. Now I have to go administer FIRST-AID | |
183 | to my pet LEISURE SUIT!!\0 | |
184 | Gee, I feel kind of LIGHT in the head now, knowing I can't make | |
185 | my satellite dish PAYMENTS!\0 | |
186 | Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---\0 | |
187 | Give them RADAR-GUIDED SKEE-BALL LANES and VELVEETA BURRITOS!!\0 | |
188 | Go on, EMOTE! I was RAISED on thought balloons!!\0 | |
189 | HAIR TONICS, please!!\0 | |
190 | HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!\0 | |
191 | HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!\0 | |
192 | HOORAY, Ronald!! Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!!\0 | |
193 | HUGH BEAUMONT died in 1982!!\0 | |
194 | HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...\0 | |
195 | Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste!\0 | |
196 | Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard | |
197 | -- I'm living for today!\0 | |
198 | Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??... | |
199 | Now, it's time to ``HAVE A NAGEELA''!!\0 | |
200 | He is the MELBA-BEING... the ANGEL CAKE... | |
201 | XEROX him... XEROX him --\0 | |
202 | He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE | |
203 | inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER! Or maybe he'd | |
204 | like to PSYCHOLIGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no objection | |
205 | to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!! I guess | |
206 | I should call AL PACINO!\0 | |
207 | Hello, GORRY-O!! I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!\0 | |
208 | Hello. I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic | |
209 | Alaskan females!!\0 | |
210 | Hello. Just walk along and try NOT to think about your | |
211 | INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!\0 | |
212 | Hello... IRON CURTAIN? Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA! | |
213 | World War III? No thanks!\0 | |
214 | Hello? Enema Bondage? I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess..\0 | |
215 | Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying | |
216 | my urine sample bottles..\0 | |
217 | Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN | |
218 | anywhere!!\0 | |
219 | Here we are in America... when do we collect unemployment?\0 | |
220 | Hey, wait a minute!! I want a divorce!!.. you're not Clint Eastwood!!\0 | |
221 | Hey, waiter! I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce!\0 | |
222 | Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some | |
223 | drunken CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI'S!!\0 | |
224 | Hmmm.. A hash-singer and a cross-eyed guy were SLEEPING on a deserted | |
225 | island, when...\0 | |
226 | Hmmm.. a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT | |
227 | by a TROLLEY-CAR..\0 | |
228 | Hmmm... a PINHEAD, during an EARTHQUAKE, encounters an ALL-MIDGET FIDDLE | |
229 | ORCHESTRA... ha.. ha..\0 | |
230 | Hmmm... an arrogant bouquet with a subtle suggestion of | |
231 | POLYVINYL CHLORIDE...\0 | |
232 | Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...\0 | |
233 | How do I get HOME?\0 | |
234 | How do you explain Wayne Newton's POWER over millions? | |
235 | It's th' MOUSTACHE... Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates | |
236 | SINCERITY, HONESTY & WARMTH? It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take | |
237 | HOME and introduce to NANCY SINATRA!\0 | |
238 | How many retured bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing | |
239 | PENCIL SHARPENERS right NOW??\0 | |
240 | How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??\0 | |
241 | How's the wife? Is she at home enjoying capitalism?\0 | |
242 | I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE | |
243 | JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!\0 | |
244 | I KAISER ROLL?! What good is a Kaiser Roll without a little | |
245 | COLE SLAW on the SIDE?\0 | |
246 | I Know A Joke\0 | |
247 | I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!\0 | |
248 | I am NOT a nut....\0 | |
249 | I am a jelly donut. I am a jelly donut.\0 | |
250 | I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginzberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927!\0 | |
251 | I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!\0 | |
252 | I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!\0 | |
253 | I am having FUN... I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN?\0 | |
254 | I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!\0 | |
255 | I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!\0 | |
256 | I can't decide which WRONG TURN to make first!! | |
257 | I wonder if BOB GUCCIONE has these problems!\0 | |
258 | I can't think about that. It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of | |
259 | LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS...\0 | |
260 | I demand IMPUNITY!\0 | |
261 | I didn't order any WOO-WOO... Maybe a YUBBA.. But no WOO-WOO!\0 | |
262 | I don't believe there really IS a GAS SHORTAGE.. I think it's all | |
263 | just a BIG HOAX on the part of the plastic sign salesmen-- | |
264 | .. to sell more numbers!!\0 | |
265 | I don't know WHY I said that.. I think it came from the FILLINGS | |
266 | in my rear molars..\0 | |
267 | I feel better about world problems now!\0 | |
268 | I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSCHEV..\0 | |
269 | I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!\0 | |
270 | I feel like a wet parking meter on Darvon!\0 | |
271 | I feel partially hydrogenated!\0 | |
272 | I fill MY industrial waste containers with old copies | |
273 | of the ``WATCHTOWER'' and then add HAWAIIAN PUNCH to | |
274 | the top.. They look NICE in the yard--\0 | |
275 | I guess it was all a DREAM.. or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...\0 | |
276 | I guess you guys got BIG MUSCLES from doing too much STUDYING!\0 | |
277 | I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81...\0 | |
278 | I had pancake makeup for brunch!\0 | |
279 | I have a TINY BOWL in my HEAD\0 | |
280 | I have a very good DENTAL PLAN. Thank you.\0 | |
281 | I have accepted Provolone into my life!\0 | |
282 | I have many CHARTS and DIAGRAMS..\0 | |
283 | I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket.. | |
284 | .. I have read the INSTRUCTIONS...\0 | |
285 | I have the power to HALT PRODUCTION on all TEENAGE SEX COMEDIES!!\0 | |
286 | I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling | |
287 | every day from Oral Roberts!!\0 | |
288 | I hope I bought the right relish... zzzzzzzzz...\0 | |
289 | I hope something GOOD came in the mail today so I have | |
290 | a REASON to live!!\0 | |
291 | I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control...\0 | |
292 | I hope you millionaires are having fun! I just invested half | |
293 | your life savings in yeast!!\0 | |
294 | I invented skydiving in 1989!\0 | |
295 | I joined scientology at a garage sale!!\0 | |
296 | I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!\0 | |
297 | I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker.. | |
298 | But now I can't remember WHO he is...\0 | |
299 | I just had a NOSE JOB!!\0 | |
300 | I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!\0 | |
301 | I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!! And I was just getting in touch | |
302 | with my LEISURE SUIT!!\0 | |
303 | I just remembered something about a TOAD!\0 | |
304 | I know how to do SPECIAL EFFECTS!!\0 | |
305 | I know th'MAMBO!! I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!\0 | |
306 | I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!\0 | |
307 | I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!\0 | |
308 | I like the way ONLY their mouths move.. They look like DYING OYSTERS\0 | |
309 | I like your SNOOPY POSTER!!\0 | |
310 | I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to ``WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!\0 | |
311 | I need to discuss BUY-BACK PROVISIONS with at least | |
312 | six studio SLEAZEBALLS!!\0 | |
313 | I once decorated my apartment entirely in ten foot salad forks!!\0 | |
314 | I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!\0 | |
315 | I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think | |
316 | about GUN CONTROL legislation..\0 | |
317 | I represent a sardine!!\0 | |
318 | I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!\0 | |
319 | I selected E5... but I didn't hear ``Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs''!\0 | |
320 | I smell a RANCID CORN DOG!\0 | |
321 | I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day!\0 | |
322 | I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!\0 | |
323 | I think my career is ruined!\0 | |
324 | I used to be a FUNDAMENTALIST, but then I heard about the | |
325 | HIGH RADIATION LEVELS and bought an ENCYCLOPEDIA!!\0 | |
326 | I want EARS! I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n secure!!\0 | |
327 | I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go.. with EXTRA MSG!!\0 | |
328 | I want a WESSON OIL lease!!\0 | |
329 | I want another RE-WRITE on my CEASAR SALAD!!\0 | |
330 | I want the presidency so bad I can already taste the hors d'oeuvres.\0 | |
331 | I want to dress you up as TALLULAH BANKHEAD and cover you with | |
332 | VASELINE and WHEAT THINS..\0 | |
333 | I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!!\0 | |
334 | I want to read my new poem about pork brains and outer space...\0 | |
335 | I want to so HAPPY, the VEINS in my neck STAND OUT!!\0 | |
336 | I want you to MEMORIZE the collected poems of EDNA ST VINCENT MILLAY.. | |
337 | BACKWARDS!!\0 | |
338 | I want you to organize my PASTRY trays... my TEA-TINS are gleaming in | |
339 | formation like a ROW of DRUM MAJORETTES -- | |
340 | please don't be FURIOUS with me --\0 | |
341 | I was born in a Hostess Cupcake factory before the sexual revolution!\0 | |
342 | I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!\0 | |
343 | I wish I was a sex-starved manicurist found dead in the Bronx!!\0 | |
344 | I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!\0 | |
345 | I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?\0 | |
346 | I wonder if I should put myself in ESCROW!!\0 | |
347 | I wonder if there's anything GOOD on tonight?\0 | |
348 | I would like to urinate in an OVULAR, porcelain pool --\0 | |
349 | I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!\0 | |
350 | I'd like some JUNK FOOD... and then I want to be ALONE --\0 | |
351 | I'll eat ANYTHING that's BRIGHT BLUE!!\0 | |
352 | I'll show you MY telex number if you show me YOURS...\0 | |
353 | I'm ANN LANDERS!! I can SHOPLIFT!!\0 | |
354 | I'm DESPONDENT... I hope there's something DEEP-FRIED under this | |
355 | miniature DOMED STADIUM...\0 | |
356 | I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!!\0 | |
357 | I'm GLAD I remembered to XEROX all my UNDERSHIRTS!!\0 | |
358 | I'm QUIETLY reading the latest issue of ``BOWLING WORLD'' | |
359 | while my wife and two children stand QUIETLY BY..\0 | |
360 | I'm RELIGIOUS!! I love a man with a HAIRPIECE!! | |
361 | Equip me with MISSILES!!\0 | |
362 | I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode.\0 | |
363 | I'm a GENIUS! I want to dispute sentence structure with SUSAN SONTAG!!\0 | |
364 | I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany\0 | |
365 | I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex!\0 | |
366 | I'm also against BODY-SURFING!!\0 | |
367 | I'm also pre-POURED pre-MEDITATED and pre-RAPHAELITE!!\0 | |
368 | I'm changing the CHANNEL.. But all I get is commercials | |
369 | for ``RONCO MIRACLE BAMBOO STEAMERS''!\0 | |
370 | I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!\0 | |
371 | I'm definitely not in Omaha!\0 | |
372 | I'm dressing up in an ill-fitting IVY-LEAGUE SUIT!! Too late...\0 | |
373 | I'm encased in the lining of a pure pork sausage!!\0 | |
374 | I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!!\0 | |
375 | I'm having BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS about the INSIPID WIVES | |
376 | of smug and wealthy CORPORATE LAWYERS..\0 | |
377 | I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!\0 | |
378 | I'm having a MID-WEEK CRISIS!\0 | |
379 | I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.. and I don't take any DRUGS\0 | |
380 | I'm having a tax-deductible experience! I need an energy crunch!!\0 | |
381 | I'm having an EMOTIONAL OUTBURST!! But, uh, WHY is there a WAFFLE | |
382 | in my PAJAMA POCKET??\0 | |
383 | I'm having an emotional outburst!!\0 | |
384 | I'm having fun HITCHHIKING to CINCINNATI or FAR ROCKAWAY!!\0 | |
385 | I'm in direct contact with many advanced fun CONCEPTS.\0 | |
386 | I'm into SOFTWARE!\0 | |
387 | I'm meditating on the FORMALDEHYDE and the ASBESTOS leaking into my | |
388 | PERSONAL SPACE!!\0 | |
389 | I'm mentally OVERDRAWN! What's that SIGNPOST up ahead? | |
390 | Where's ROD STERLING when you really need him?\0 | |
391 | I'm not an Iranian!! I voted for Dianne Feinstein!!\0 | |
392 | I'm not available for comment..\0 | |
393 | I'm pretending I'm pulling in a TROUT! Am I doing it correctly??\0 | |
394 | I'm pretending that we're all watching PHIL SILVERS | |
395 | instead of RICARDO MONTALBAN!\0 | |
396 | I'm rated PG-34!!\0 | |
397 | I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!\0 | |
398 | I'm reporting for duty as a modern person. I want to do | |
399 | the Latin Hustle now!\0 | |
400 | I'm shaving!! I'M SHAVING!!\0 | |
401 | I'm sitting on my SPEED QUEEN.. To me, it's ENJOYABLE.. | |
402 | I'm WARM.. I'm VIBRATORY..\0 | |
403 | I'm thinking about DIGITAL READ-OUT systems and | |
404 | computer-generated IMAGE FORMATIONS..\0 | |
405 | I'm totally DESPONDENT over the LIBYAN situation and the price of CHICKEN..\0 | |
406 | I'm using my X-RAY VISION to obtain a rare glimpse of the | |
407 | INNER WORKINGS of this POTATO!!\0 | |
408 | I'm wearing PAMPERS!!\0 | |
409 | I'm wet! I'm wild!\0 | |
410 | I'm young.. I'm HEALTHY.. I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR REGIONS!\0 | |
411 | I've got a COUSIN who works in the GARMENT DISTRICT...\0 | |
412 | I've got an IDEA!! Why don't I STARE at you so HARD, | |
413 | you forget your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!\0 | |
414 | I've read SEVEN MILLION books!!\0 | |
415 | INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!\0 | |
416 | If I am elected no one will ever have to do their laundry again!\0 | |
417 | If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE | |
418 | will be replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET!\0 | |
419 | If I felt any more SOPHISTICATED I would DIE of EMBARRASSMENT!\0 | |
420 | If I had a Q-TIP, I could prevent th'collapse of NEGOTIATIONS!!\0 | |
421 | If I pull this SWITCH I'll be RITA HAYWORTH!! Or a SCIENTOLOGIST!\0 | |
422 | If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will | |
423 | Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??\0 | |
424 | If a person is FAMOUS in this country, they have to go on the ROAD | |
425 | for MONTHS at a time and have their name misspelled on the SIDE | |
426 | of a GREYHOUND SCENICRUISER!!\0 | |
427 | If elected, Zippy pledges to each and every American | |
428 | a 55-year-old houseboy...\0 | |
429 | If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!\0 | |
430 | In Newark the laundromats are open 24 hours a day!\0 | |
431 | Inside, I'm already SOBBING!\0 | |
432 | Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship? | |
433 | Or are we suffering in Safeway?\0 | |
434 | Is it 1974? What's for SUPPER? Can I spend my COLLEGE FUND in | |
435 | one wild afternoon??\0 | |
436 | Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop | |
437 | in a plate of SAUCE MORNAY?\0 | |
438 | Is it clean in other dimensions?\0 | |
439 | Is something VIOLENT going to happen to a GARBAGE CAN?\0 | |
440 | Is this TERMINAL fun?\0 | |
441 | Is this an out-take from the ``BRADY BUNCH''?\0 | |
442 | Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?\0 | |
443 | Is this the line for the latest whimsical YUGOSLAVIAN drama which also | |
444 | makes you want to CRY and reconsider the VIETNAM WAR?\0 | |
445 | Isn't this my STOP?!\0 | |
446 | It don't mean a THING if you ain't got that SWING!!\0 | |
447 | It was a JOKE!! Get it?? I was receiving messages | |
448 | from DAVID LETTERMAN!! YOW!!\0 | |
449 | It's NO USE.. I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!\0 | |
450 | It's OBVIOUS.. The FURS never reached ISTANBUL.. You were | |
451 | an EXTRA in the REMAKE of ``TOPKAPI''.. Go home to your | |
452 | WIFE.. She's making FRENCH TOAST!\0 | |
453 | It's OKAY --- I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too.\0 | |
454 | It's a lot of fun being alive... I wonder if my bed is made?!?\0 | |
455 | It's the RINSE CYCLE!! They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!\0 | |
456 | JAPAN is a WONDERFUL planet -- I wonder if we'll ever reach | |
457 | their level of COMPARATIVE SHOPPING...\0 | |
458 | Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL..\0 | |
459 | Kids, don't gross me off.. ``Adventures with MENTAL HYGIENE'' | |
460 | can be carried too FAR!\0 | |
461 | Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA, | |
462 | PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!!\0 | |
463 | LBJ, LBJ, how many JOKES did you tell today??!\0 | |
464 | LOOK!! Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and | |
465 | ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!\0 | |
466 | Laundry is the fifth dimension!! ...um...um... th' washing machine | |
467 | is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!\0 | |
468 | Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you.. | |
469 | I want to WRAP you in a SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE.. | |
470 | I want to EMPTY your ASHTRAYS...\0 | |
471 | Let me do my TRIBUTE to FISHNET STOCKINGS...\0 | |
472 | Let's all show human CONCERN for REVERAND MOON's legal difficulties!!\0 | |
473 | Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!\0 | |
474 | Life is a POPULARITY CONTEST! I'm REFRESHINGLY CANDID!!\0 | |
475 | Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!!\0 | |
476 | Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!! Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS... | |
477 | or a HIGHBALL??...\0 | |
478 | Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge card!\0 | |
479 | Look! A ladder! Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!\0 | |
480 | MERYL STREEP is my obstetrician!\0 | |
481 | MMM-MM!! So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION!\0 | |
482 | MY income is ALL disposable!\0 | |
483 | Make me look like LINDA RONSTADT again!!\0 | |
484 | Mary Tyler Moore's SEVENTH HUSBAND is wearing my DACRON TANK TOP | |
485 | in a cheap hotel in HONOLULU!\0 | |
486 | Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE--\0 | |
487 | Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!! A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed | |
488 | with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!... Oh BOY!! I'm | |
489 | about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG | |
490 | soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!! .. Let's see.. | |
491 | Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS | |
492 | fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded | |
493 | animal someone once PETTED!! ... YUM!! That was GOOD!! | |
494 | For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS | |
495 | on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!\0 | |
496 | Mr and Mrs PED, can I borrow 26.7% of the RAYON TEXTILE production | |
497 | of the INDONESIAN archipelago?\0 | |
498 | My Aunt MAUREEN was a military advisor to IKE & TINA TURNER!!\0 | |
499 | My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off.. It has noiseless | |
500 | DOZE FUNCTION and full kitchen!!\0 | |
501 | My CODE of ETHICS is vacationing at famed SCHROON LAKE | |
502 | in upstate New York!!\0 | |
503 | My EARS are GONE!!\0 | |
504 | My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN..\0 | |
505 | My face is new, my license is expired, and I'm under a doctor's care!!!!\0 | |
506 | My haircut is totally traditional!\0 | |
507 | My life is a patio of fun!\0 | |
508 | My mind is a potato field...\0 | |
509 | My mind is making ashtrays in Dayton....\0 | |
510 | My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie...\0 | |
511 | My pants just went to high school in the Carlsbad Caverns!!!\0 | |
512 | My polyvinyl cowboy wallet was made in Hong Kong by Montgomery Clift!\0 | |
513 | My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C. And I can prove it too!!\0 | |
514 | NANCY!! Why is everything RED?!\0 | |
515 | NATHAN... your PARENTS were in a CARCRASH!! | |
516 | They're VOIDED - They COLLAPSED | |
517 | They had no CHAINSAWS... They had no MONEY MACHINES... | |
518 | They did PILLS in SKIMPY GRASS SKIRTS... | |
519 | Nathan, I EMULATED them... but they were OFF-KEY...\0 | |
520 | NEWARK has been REZONED!! DES MOINES has been REZONED!!\0 | |
521 | Not SENSUOUS... only ``FROLICSOME''... | |
522 | and in need of DENTAL WORK... in PAIN!!!\0 | |
523 | Now I am depressed...\0 | |
524 | Now I understand the meaning of ``THE MOD SQUAD''!\0 | |
525 | Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP | |
526 | with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!\0 | |
527 | Now I'm concentrating on a specific tank battle toward | |
528 | the end of World War II!\0 | |
529 | Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beatiful, round | |
530 | wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS | |
531 | and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..\0 | |
532 | Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the | |
533 | SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!\0 | |
534 | Now that I have my ``APPLE,'' I comprehend COST ACCOUNTING!!\0 | |
535 | Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS | |
536 | and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!\0 | |
537 | Now, let's SEND OUT for QUICHE!!\0 | |
538 | OKAY!! Turn on the sound ONLY for TRYNEL CARPETING, | |
539 | FULLY-EQUIPPED R.V.'S and FLOATATION SYSTEMS!!\0 | |
540 | OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS?? Oh, YEH!! First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O | |
541 | and a BIG WRENCH!!... I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if | |
542 | it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT... ...or...I...um... WHERE'S the | |
543 | WASHING MACHINES?\0 | |
544 | ONE: I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection | |
545 | to the downtown PLASMA CENTER.. | |
546 | TWO: I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''.. | |
547 | THREE: I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!\0 | |
548 | OVER the underpass! UNDER the overpass! Around the FUTURE | |
549 | and BEYOND REPAIR!!\0 | |
550 | Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --\0 | |
551 | Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!\0 | |
552 | Oh, I get it!! ``The BEACH goes on,'' huh, SONNY??\0 | |
553 | Okay.. I'm going home to write the ``I HATE RUBIK's CUBE | |
554 | HANDBOOK FOR DEAD CAT LOVERS''..\0 | |
555 | On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and | |
556 | watch REGIS PHILBIN.. It's GREAT to be ALIVE!!\0 | |
557 | On the other hand, life can be an endless parade of TRANSSEXUAL | |
558 | QUILTING BEES aboard a cruise ship to DISNEYWORLD | |
559 | if only we let it!!\0 | |
560 | On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never | |
561 | without a POINT.\0 | |
562 | Once, there was NO fun... This was before MENU planning, | |
563 | FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment... | |
564 | Then, in 1985.. FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP.. | |
565 | It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!! | |
566 | We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS, | |
567 | MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!\0 | |
568 | Our father who art in heaven.. I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY | |
569 | at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN.. | |
570 | and also leave a GENEROUS TIP...\0 | |
571 | PARDON me, am I speaking ENGLISH?\0 | |
572 | PEGGY FLEMMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.\0 | |
573 | PIZZA!!\0 | |
574 | PUNK ROCK!! DISCO DUCK!! BIRTH CONTROL!!\0 | |
575 | Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE | |
576 | with your BOOTH!\0 | |
577 | Place me on a BUFFER counter while you BELITTLE several BELLHOPS | |
578 | in the Trianon Room!! Let me one of your SUBSIDIARIES!\0 | |
579 | Please come home with me... I have Tylenol!!\0 | |
580 | Psychoanalysis?? I thought this was a nude rap session!!!\0 | |
581 | Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!!\0 | |
582 | RELATIVES!!\0 | |
583 | RHAPSODY in Glue!\0 | |
584 | Remember, in 2039, MOUSSE & PASTA will be available | |
585 | ONLY by prescription!!\0 | |
586 | SANTA CLAUS comes down a FIRE ESCAPE wearing bright | |
587 | blue LEG WARMERS.. He scrubs the POPE with a mild | |
588 | soap or detergent for 15 minutes, starring JANE FONDA!!\0 | |
589 | SHHHH!! I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS | |
590 | into empty OIL DRUMS..\0 | |
591 | Send your questions to ``ASK ZIPPY'', Box 40474, | |
592 | San Francisco, CA 94140, USA\0 | |
593 | Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley?\0 | |
594 | Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK | |
595 | hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?\0 | |
596 | Sign my PETITION.\0 | |
597 | So this is what it feels like to be potato salad\0 | |
598 | Sometime in 1993 NANCY SINATRA will lead a BLOODLESS COUP on GUAM!!\0 | |
599 | Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB CHOP!!\0 | |
600 | Somewhere in Tenafly, New Jersey, a chiropractor is viewing | |
601 | ``Leave it to Beaver''!\0 | |
602 | Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up | |
603 | a batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!\0 | |
604 | Spreading peanut butter reminds me of opera!! I wonder why?\0 | |
605 | TAILFINS!! ...click...\0 | |
606 | TAPPING? You POLITICIANS! Don't you realize that the END of the | |
607 | ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!\0 | |
608 | TONY RANDALL! Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??\0 | |
609 | Talking Pinhead Blues: | |
610 | Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on | |
611 | channel TWENTY-SIX!! | |
612 | Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS | |
613 | has been DEAD for YEARS.. (sniff) | |
614 | My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER | |
615 | HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf) | |
616 | So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me | |
617 | upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no.. Heh, heh)\0 | |
618 | Tex SEX! The HOME of WHEELS! The dripping of COFFEE!! Take me | |
619 | to Minnesota but don't EMBARRASS me!!\0 | |
620 | Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL\0 | |
621 | Thank god!!.. It's HENNY YOUNGMAN!!\0 | |
622 | The FALAFEL SANDWICH lands on my HEAD and I become a VEGETARIAN...\0 | |
623 | The Korean War must have been fun.\0 | |
624 | The Osmonds! You are all Osmonds!! Throwing up on a freeway at dawn!!!\0 | |
625 | The PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY is CRYING for an END to BURT REYNOLDS movies!!\0 | |
626 | The PINK SOCKS were ORIGINALLY from 1952!! | |
627 | But they went to MARS around 1953!!\0 | |
628 | The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU..\0 | |
629 | The appreciation of the average visual graphisticator alone is worth | |
630 | the whole suaveness and decadence which abounds!!\0 | |
631 | The entire CHINESE WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL TEAM all share ONE personality -- | |
632 | and have since BIRTH!!\0 | |
633 | The fact that 47 PEOPLE are yelling and sweat is cascading | |
634 | down my SPINAL COLUMN is fairly enjoyable!!\0 | |
635 | There's a little picture of ED MCMAHON doing BAD THINGS to JOAN RIVERS | |
636 | in a $200,000 MALIBU BEACH HOUSE!!\0 | |
637 | There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!\0 | |
638 | These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!!\0 | |
639 | They collapsed.... like nuns in the street... | |
640 | they had no teen appeal!\0 | |
641 | This ASEXUAL PIG really BOILS my BLOOD... He's so..so.....URGENT!!\0 | |
642 | This MUST be a good party -- My RIB CAGE is being painfully | |
643 | pressed up against someone's MARTINI!!\0 | |
644 | This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!\0 | |
645 | This PORCUPINE knows his ZIPCODE.. And he has ``VISA''!!\0 | |
646 | This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience! Someone I DON'T LIKE | |
647 | is talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film..\0 | |
648 | This is a NO-FRILLS flight -- hold th' CANADIAN BACON!!\0 | |
649 | Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST, | |
650 | my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!\0 | |
651 | Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a... | |
652 | feeling for the aesthetic modules --\0 | |
653 | Today, THREE WINOS from DETROIT sold me a framed photo of | |
654 | TAB HUNTER before his MAKEOVER!\0 | |
655 | Toes, knees, NIPPLES. Toes, knees, nipples, KNUCKLES... | |
656 | Nipples, dimples, knuckles, NICKLES, wrinkles, pimples!! | |
657 | I don't like FRANK SINATRA or his CHILDREN.\0 | |
658 | UH-OH!! I put on ``GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's'' | |
659 | by mistake!!!\0 | |
660 | UH-OH!! I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S | |
661 | having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!! Ha ha.\0 | |
662 | UH-OH!! We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!\0 | |
663 | Uh-oh -- WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader | |
664 | frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?\0 | |
665 | Uh-oh!! I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!\0 | |
666 | Uh-oh!! I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!\0 | |
667 | Used staples are good with SOY SAUCE!\0 | |
668 | Vote for ME -- I'm well-tapered, half-cocked, ill-conceived and | |
669 | TAX-DEFERRED!\0 | |
670 | WHO sees a BEACH BUNNY sobbing on a SHAG RUG?!\0 | |
671 | WHOA!! Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!! It must | |
672 | be the NEGATIVE IONS!!\0 | |
673 | Wait.. is this a FUN THING or the END of LIFE in Petticoat Junction??\0 | |
674 | Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN? It tastes REAL GOOD!!\0 | |
675 | We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot tub...\0 | |
676 | We have DIFFERENT amounts of HAIR --\0 | |
677 | We just joined the civil hair patrol!\0 | |
678 | We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home. | |
679 | 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!\0 | |
680 | Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN.. I might as well pay a visit to the | |
681 | LADIES ROOM...\0 | |
682 | Well, I'm a classic ANAL RETENTIVE!! And I'm looking for a way to | |
683 | VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!!\0 | |
684 | Well, O.K. I'll compromise with my principles because of | |
685 | EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR!\0 | |
686 | Well, here I am in AMERICA.. I LIKE it. I HATE it. | |
687 | I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it. | |
688 | I HATE it. I LIKE.. EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!\0 | |
689 | Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?\0 | |
690 | What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?\0 | |
691 | What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK...\0 | |
692 | What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf?\0 | |
693 | What PROGRAM are they watching?\0 | |
694 | What UNIVERSE is this, please??\0 | |
695 | What a COINCIDENCE! I'm an authorized ``SNOOTS OF THE STARS'' dealer!!\0 | |
696 | What's the MATTER Sid?.. Is your BEVERAGE unsatisfactory?\0 | |
697 | When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP | |
698 | or DETERGENT for 15 minutes. He seemed to enjoy it..\0 | |
699 | When this load is DONE I think I'll wash it AGAIN..\0 | |
700 | When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?\0 | |
701 | When you said ``HEAVILY FORESTED'' it reminded me of an overdue | |
702 | CLEANING BILL.. Don't you SEE? O'Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE | |
703 | COIN COLLECTION and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!!\0 | |
704 | Where do your SOCKS go when you lose them in th' WASHER?\0 | |
705 | Where does it go when you flush?\0 | |
706 | Where's SANDY DUNCAN?\0 | |
707 | Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT??\0 | |
708 | Where's the Coke machine? Tell me a joke!!\0 | |
709 | While my BRAINPAN is being refused service in BURGER KING, | |
710 | Jesuit priests are DATING CAREER DIPLOMATS!!\0 | |
711 | While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S | |
712 | bank account.. This will have the same effect as | |
713 | two ``STARCH BLOCKERS''!\0 | |
714 | Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me??\0 | |
715 | Why don't you ever enter and CONTESTS, Marvin?? | |
716 | Don't you know your own ZIPCODE?\0 | |
717 | Why is everything made of Lycra Spandex?\0 | |
718 | Why is it that when you DIE, you can't take your | |
719 | HOME ENTERTAINMENT CENTER with you??\0 | |
720 | Will it improve my CASH FLOW?\0 | |
721 | Will the third world war keep ``Bosom Buddies'' off the air?\0 | |
722 | Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?\0 | |
723 | With YOU, I can be MYSELF.. We don't NEED Dan Rather..\0 | |
724 | World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced | |
725 | dress code!\0 | |
726 | Wow! Look!! A stray meatball!! Let's interview it!\0 | |
727 | Xerox your lunch and file it under ``sex offenders!''\0 | |
728 | YOU PICKED KARL MALDEN'S NOSE!!\0 | |
729 | YOU!! Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little | |
730 | VICTORIAN DOLLHOUSE you can find!! An make it SNAPPY!!\0 | |
731 | YOW!! Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!\0 | |
732 | YOW!! I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!\0 | |
733 | YOW!! Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY | |
734 | and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!\0 | |
735 | YOW!! The land of the rising SONY!!\0 | |
736 | YOW!! Up ahead! It's a DONUT HUT!!\0 | |
737 | YOW!! What should the entire human race DO?? Consume a fifth | |
738 | of CHIVAS REGAL, ski NUDE down MT. EVEREST, and have a wild | |
739 | SEX WEEKEND!\0 | |
740 | YOW!!! I am having fun!!!\0 | |
741 | Yes, but will I see the EASTER BUNNY in skintight leather | |
742 | at an IRON MAIDEN concert?\0 | |
743 | You can't hurt me!! I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!\0 | |
744 | You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR | |
745 | th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?\0 | |
746 | You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?\0 | |
747 | You should all JUMP UP AND DOWN for TWO HOURS while I decide | |
748 | on a NEW CAREER!!\0 | |
749 | You were s'posed to laugh!\0 | |
750 | Your CHEEKS sit like twin NECTARINES above a MOUTH that knows no BOUNDS --\0 | |
751 | Youth of today! Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental attitudes!\0 | |
752 | Yow!\0 | |
753 | Yow! Am I having fun yet?\0 | |
754 | Yow! Am I in Milwaukee?\0 | |
755 | Yow! And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!\0 | |
756 | Yow! Are we laid back yet?\0 | |
757 | Yow! Are we wet yet?\0 | |
758 | Yow! Are you the self-frying president?\0 | |
759 | Yow! Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??\0 | |
760 | Yow! I just went below the poverty line!\0 | |
761 | Yow! I threw up on my window!\0 | |
762 | Yow! I want my nose in lights!\0 | |
763 | Yow! I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!\0 | |
764 | Yow! I'm having a quadrophonic sensation of two winos | |
765 | alone in a steel mill!\0 | |
766 | Yow! I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce!\0 | |
767 | Yow! Is my fallout shelter termite proof?\0 | |
768 | Yow! Is this sexual intercourse yet?? Is it, huh, is it??\0 | |
769 | Yow! It's a hole all the way to downtown Burbank!\0 | |
770 | Yow! It's some people inside the wall! This is better than mopping!\0 | |
771 | Yow! Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--\0 | |
772 | Yow! Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL | |
773 | when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!\0 | |
774 | Yow! Now we can become alcoholics!\0 | |
775 | Yow! Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!\0 | |
776 | Yow! We're going to a new disco!\0 | |
777 | Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses...\0 |